Not often do you come across a Muslim woman who identifies as Queer, polyamorous, niqabi, and was previously Jewish. In fact, Rivka Sajida bint Yahudei (born Paige Davis) may just be the only woman fitting the above description (correct us if we’re wrong!) The 28-year-old lives in St. Louis, Missouri, and her personal style can be best described as eclectic, goth-punk hijabi lolita – with the occasional decorative face veil. Fascinated? So are we. Follow her on Instagram @umm.udh.dhibu and @RivkaZee on Twitter, and you’ll find yourself endlessly scrolling to find out more about this intriguing theologian, scholar and fashion enthusiast, who posts about prayer, Pride and creates hijab- and niqab-wearing avatars on Sims.
1. What attracts you to the idea of dressing modestly?
To be honest, I started dress more modestly after marriage – at the time I was Jewish, leaning toward Modern Orthodoxy, and wanted to work on dressing more modestly while also covering my hair, something which Jewish women are called to do after marriage. I quickly started dressing to tzniut (Jewish modesty standards) with some modern tweaks – short sleeves were ok, pants were ok, collarbones were showing and I didn’t necessarily need to completely cover my hair. I quickly realized my modesty level for the day was actually connected to my level of anxiety – the more anxious I was, the more modestly I dressed, wearing even hijab with abaya on some days. I also wore the hijab style more and more frequently due to it helping with migraines – tichel (the Jewish hair covering style, also called mitpachet) pinned my ears back more and caused headaches for me.
2. If you could have tea with anyone (living or dead) who would it be
and why?
My mom. She died when I was almost 9, and it would mean a lot to me to speak with her again. I think she would be proud of me, of what I’ve done in life and how far I’ve come, but I definitely would prefer to ask her in person. In shaa Allah, in Jannah.
3. What is the last inspirational quote you posted or screenshotted on
Instagram?
“God is Black; God is Queer; God is Red; God is Woman; God is Rice. Make the Difference.” Technically this is a quote from me, paraphrasing James Cone, who wrote about the theological philosophy God is Black. In a later publication of the writing, he clarified and said that God is for all the oppressed, and added God as Red, Woman, and Rice. I’ve added God as Queer to the sentiment.
4. Your last rash-decision shopping splurge was…
I bought some thigh-high Louboutin leather boots off Poshmark. They were a quarter of retail price, but they were still really expensive. But I’ve wanted boots like this for 15 years, maybe more, and I wasn’t about to pass
them up! They’re amazing and so soft!
5. Your spirit animal is…
A snow leopard! I even have a snow leopard Spirit Hood. I love them so much.
6. Name one book you’ve read that made a lasting impression:
The Quran. Can I say that, or is that too stereotypical? I’m being serious though. Reading the Quran confirmed so many things I had thought before, things I felt should have been true in Judaism. It was incredibly validating.
7. A friend you’ve made on Instagram who you’d love to meet in real life…
The Salafi Feminist. I think we may have actually met on
Twitter? But I follow her on Instagram as well. She’s an absolutely
wonderful human being and I care about her a lot. I’d date her in a MINUTE if she let me! lol She’s just amazing, and we’re very similar in clothing style and is just… amazing. Did I
mention she’s amazing?
8. If you had to eat one meal for dinner every day for the next week, it would be…
Pasta with red sauce. I literally lived on this one summer. Somehow, I’m still not tired of it.
9. Name the book or movie character you identify with most.
Anita Blake from the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter novels by Laurell K.
Hamilton. Something about Queer, Polyamorous, kink-oriented short
woman who is ostracized by many… but she still keeps her faith even
though others tell her she shouldn’t/she’s going to Hell, and she
stays incredibly strong and ends up with many who love and support
her. I really connect with her. Also the author lives in St. Louis, and
the books are mostly set here!
10. Your advice for dealing with the “haram police” or fashion
policing from critics on Instagram?
Block them. I’m being serious. These people won’t listen, and all they’ll do is continue to harass you and get others to do so. If you need to, make your profile private and take a break from Instagram. There’s no shame in self-care.
Meet more diverse and inspirational modesty muses here – and learn more about niqab trends, and women who veil their faces, here.
